I am writing a paper on the theme of love in 12~13th century troubadour and trouvere poetry. I don't know why I have to be doing this when I can be and should be practicing. This topic could be interesting, but only as for intellectual entertainment and a kind of pastime, since I am no music historian and or an early music afficionado. I just can't relate to what I am doing now. I think this is ridiculous. I am so worn out.