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the candid effusion of the enchanting cellist, the stradgirl, THE GIRL.



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Wednesday, April 09, 2003

I know I know. I've been lazy and even insensitive with my blog. But that's no news!!!
Um, yeah.. btw I got kahlua the night after I wrote the last entry ;) I still have some in my fridge.
I've been REALLY busy though. But I know there are still some of you super nice people who have enough room in their hearts to accomodate even my self-absorption and selfishness to have a continued interest in how my life is despite my never showing any more than the minimal interest in your lives.. I've been kind of depressed but I'm over it now, but now I am SICK.. with a sore throat ;( My mom feels soooo sorry for me but I really don't, I need to work harder in fact. And I have been pretty useless this past week, except for Sunday and Monday morning. I had a huge presentation in my music history class that day - and it was a group project so it took a lot of work to get everything together 'til the very last minute (of course, in huge part due to the fact that we had been putting it off until we barely had time to do any presentable work). But we shined! The teacher was pleased. :) I had a lesson the next day and that went pretty well. Yeah. My financial situation is still really pathetic (down to 200's now) but hey.. I'm getting paid 150 dollars this coming Sunday. I still need more money, but it's a start, no?
Well.. because I've been feeling depressed and weak and all, and especially since I got sick 3 days ago, I feel that I have been more insensitive towards other people than usual. Really, I would not like to think that I am a selfish b*tch, but sometimes that's how I come across - because I am so damn busy with my stuff. So maybe I am. I don't seem to be able to handle things outside my immediate, necessary and urgent business in my own life. It would be nice to have many friends and be nice to them and spend much time and care on them, too. I try to be sweet to everyone though, if not at a very personal and deep level.. But it feels really awful when I'm not being productive in my own life either. So it sucks to be sick. I'm getting better.. I will get better though. :)
I'm going to bed now.. Talk to you guys soon I hope! Gary, are you still reading this thing from time to time? You used to be so responsive towards my posts. I miss you :)

posted by the stradgirl* on 23:26|